Perhaps I should know better than to post this, since my local internet provider has been  purchased by Comcast.  But this is really just too precious:

They arrived en masse some 90 minutes before the hearing began and occupied almost every available seat, upon which many promptly fell asleep.

It’s kind of a neat new trick for American corporate media: if they can’t manage to create a somnolent audience by airing, say, Jay Leno or Jimmy Kimmel five nights a week, they can always just have one shipped in, when really needed.  The special forces of the United States of Whatever.

It’s often kind of tragic, working at Cafe Kopi.  So many doomed 1st date couples within earshot.  The couple next to me:

She: “That shop was the only place I could go to feel better.  So many times I would walk to the counter, and the person would ask me, because she recognized me, how I was doing.  I’d say, ‘So much better, now that I’m here.’”

He, a minute later: “You know I appreciate stories about life for what they are.  But I can’t really, like, remember lots of little details about my life and things.  Do you like to grill?”

She: “Like, food?”

“It’s a multibillion-dollar industry that gives investors incredible financial incentive to see you dead.“

Capitalism brings a new blessing.